Today, I enjoyed playing with the very big animal that I generally use to perch myself upon in front of the big opening near my lair. It looks like an opening but when trying to exit through it you always get stopped by what appears to be a very strong magical force. My mom calls it a window, I call it problems.
So, back to the big animal in front of the opening....it is really kind of a lazy animal. It actually only moves when I jump on it and that is only a little movement. It is also not very muscular, probably due to its lack of movement I suspect.
I knew it wanted to play. It was tempting me with its fluffy bigness! First I did my super agile leap followed by a jaw clamping down into the vast fluff. This was all done in the most playful of ways of course. That animal played possum! I am pretty certain a possum it is not, but I was almost fooled. I jumped onto the floor, assessed for any damage and chose to sneak upon my new playmate with all the gusto I could muster. As my glistening white canines broke through the outer covering I pulled back with great force to find I had revealed the guts. My animal instinct took over. It was as if I could not control the urge to remove the entrails of this thing.....it couldn't really be an animal...could it? It never eats or drinks. Hasn't ever attacked me back. I have only seen my mom cover it up with a blanket and tell me to get off of it at times. Well, I decided to get to the bottom of this....I removed all of the entrails onto the floor of my lair.
That is when they returned, my family.
Mom saw what I had done. I was so excited that I had discovered the truth about this thing in our home, saving her years of worry and concern. I was ready for my medal of honor and all the hugs and kisses a dog of my stature and experience deserves. Oddly, this is not what happened. Mom just stood there, so still, kind of like that animal I just rendered lifeless. It was so surreal. Then, to capture this precious moment Mom got her camera and took pictures, for the family history book I am sure. She must be in awe of my power and strength though because she really didn't give me the hugs and kisses I thought I would be getting. I do think, however, that they have put a special order in for my new medal of honor, I will make sure she lets you know what it is.
Well, that's my update for now. I am off to bury some important documents in the backyard for security purposes of course!
