With that said...I must tell you something very interesting. Not long ago, approximately 2 dogs years in fact, I had attacked the lazy animal by the big portal in my lair. Within a few days my people were diligently at work building me a starter home in my outdoor Garden of Eden. This would not have upset me in anyway except for the fact that they had already bequeathed me a condo. Certainly the work I had done to the animal was not worthy of an elevated living arrangement. I tried to convince them that I was perfectly happy staying inside with the lower level animalia but they would hear none of my protests!
Maybe I should first describe my situation in the condo. It was a lovely little place with a beautiful view of the yard, the house and the side street. My dad had built a redwood deck for the floor so as not to get my trusty paws dirty while enjoying my time there. When I describe the condo as little I must say that the measurements were six feet square and four feet tall. Perfect for my solid and well carved out stature.
At first, I really liked the condo....from a distance of course. Problems arose, however, once I entered the unit and my mom would close the door and leave me there. Why? Why? Why!? Did she realize that I would not be available to assail and assuage predators from this location thereby leaving our security system with a serious chink in the armor!? Was she fully aware of the fact that she allowed the other animalia full run of home and yard? But alas, it was my fate and the only recourse was to show her the error of her ways.
While I consider myself an amiable fellow, I must admit that I did give a bit of a struggle for my mom when she tried to coerce me into the condo. Heaven knows that there are dogs in the world who do not even have a condo and I personally would like to donate mine for their use. I have done perfectly fine without one and feel it would be selfish of me to withhold such a fine living quarter when there are those fellow canine who are doing without. I tried this method of persuasion with my mom but she would have none of it. Into the condo I went. Away to work went she. That is when I had a brilliant idea.
On the scale of brilliant ideas I would actually rate this a 9.999. I would have given it a 10 but a dog such as I believes there is always room for improvement. I quickly got to work rearranging the metal of the walls in the condo so as to fashion a small portal.
They were so amazed at my diligence and skill in rearranging walls in the condo! So much praise was given to me on this glorious day. I shall burn it into my memory so as to recall it often.
Within days my dad decided it was time for me to move to the next level of skill and he lined the inner walls of the condo with boards. Surely he knew of the talents I possessed! I am proud to report that it did not take me nearly as long to use those boards as a way to exit the condo leaving me, again, available to protect home and family. The look of excitement on their faces when they returned home was priceless.
It took my dad a few more days to figure out the next test level for me and the condo. The nature of it still eludes me but I will say, it was like a covering to a portal. Across the entire top of the condo were boards and metal. While this did provide some relief from the elements, I have yet to conquer this level and return to my position.
Many days, too many for my mind to want to recall, were spent in the condo through the warm season and into the fall. My mother confided in me that she was concerned about the elements as the days would be getting much colder. She shared this with my dad and shortly after rendering the larger animal in the living room lifeless (see previous post) my dad blessed me with .......wait for it......... a starter home.
Yep...10 foot by 6 foot by 6 feet tall....no idea why they had to make it so tall....sheer happiness. Home away from proverbial home. Mom put a nice comfy pillow in it for me and a heated water bowl. What more could a dog ask for?
